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| Officially my 'new' favourite chocolates in the world |
I always get nervous going to these things; I inevitably end up going alone because no one else will indulge my desire for punishing exercise routines.
Generally I get nervous about being 'new' and not knowing what to expect, but this time I was terrified because I knew it was going to be a ridiculously hard workout. The fear induced by this knowledge was somewhat compounded by the fact that I had not exercised properly in 6 months!
Davey, doing his supportive boyfriend bit, walked me down to the local venue with the dog and kissed me goodbye.
It took everything in my resolve to turn away from him and make myself walk into the car park to meet the 30 strangers all looking fit, toned and milling around in red vests [I'm not going to say cult but...]
Thank God I was one of 5 new people, the other 4 had come in pairs, but at least I wasn't totally alone. I'd just started to relax and get chatty when Glynn Roberts [the owner of Essex Boot Camp, ex marine and total sadist] arrived.
The Warm Up From Hell...
The warm up started with a lap of the field [of which the newbies only had to do half] and then straight into a punishing routine of press ups, planks, burpies, lunges, a weird crawl on your hands and feet [I did it wrong and got yelled at] and intermittent sprints across the football pitch.
There is no slacking allowed. Any slacking results lots of shouting and an extension of what ever horrible exercise we were being put through.
By now I realised that I have totally lost my ability to do press ups and sit ups and no amount of yelling or determination not to be a 'let down' was going to fix that.
I spent most of my time wide eyed and face down in the mud praying I wouldn't get caught failing...
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| So not quite 'National Mud Day' standard but it was pretty muddy |
I was definitely radiating defiance, fury and hatred at the man who was punishing me, seemingly for the pure joy of it.
The final part of the warm up was a lap of the pitch, the first half across the line were Team 1 lead by Glynn and the last half back were Team 2, lead by Lisa.
Needless to say I was in Team 2 [and now I know how to avoid Glynn]
The Main Work Out...
The second part of the training was exhausting but not as horrible of the warm up. Group 2 [my group] was with Lisa, who while still firm and motivational is not as merciless as Glynn.
We were divided* into teams of three. Luckily two of the new girls, who I later found out to be sisters, sought me out.
*Dividing into little groups always fills me with dread... I am instantly reduced to a scared little girl who is terrified that she won't get picked. I know that I am nearly 30 and it shouldn't really matter but for some reason it does... massively!
The first activity was for two of the group to drag the third team member to the goal post and sprint back, this was repeated for each member of the group twice.
Then we had to find a partner, the fear surfaced... but luckily one of the girls whom I had been talking to before the session found and addopted me.
In partners we had to do 'overs and unders'*, relay sprints, sit ups/ press ups/ burpies before we moved on to the group activities.
*Overs and Unders; you lay on the ground while your partner jumps over you [dangerous with jelly legs] and then you have to make an arch from your body with your hands and feet on the floor while your partner crawls under you… then you swap over. It was hard.
We were then split into two teams and did a press up race [boys had to do 30 and girls had to do 20] followed by another team race which consisted of stomach toning pose to be held by the whole group while each member took a turn to sprint to and from the goal post.
Our group lost.
Twice.
The final hurdle was to all sit on the floor holding hands and do sit ups, by this stage I was ruined and ended flopping around, making straining noises and generally disturbing everyone. However not as much as the owner of a loud fart which caused a huge amount of laughing and accusation.
The class finished with, Ex Marine, Glynn giving us newbies a ‘motivational talk’ [which was tantamount bullying with a sense of humour] but he did say that they 'will always push us to do our best and as long as we push ourselves they will be happy' … which was a little encouraging.
I warmed to him in the end but I am reserving the right to loathe him again in Mondays class!
Final Thought...
The class was really hard, mediocre effort is not indulged and you are pushed and kept moving for the entire hour. However when I 'made it through' I felt a real sense of achievement and had gained a very nice new friend called Susana… so I have promised to go back next week.
Two days after the class I am still in significant pain I have no idea how John Bishop is doing everything he's doing for Sport relief. He is my hero!
I’ll keep you posted…
